Double minded

Well, it is no surprise that I am clearly a double-minded man, at least about some things. Excited about many things, but apparently not convinced by anything - at least in the realm of career opportunities. Looking one way for a while, I eventually turn another, then back again, and again and again. Clearly I have not found my post-christian calling yet, although in some ways my present employment is close. I find, with no obvious goal in sight (beyond just paying bills and trying to make life a little more comfortable/enjoyable), that I am leaning towards the easy, the comfortable, and in essence, the boring. I do get excited about a challenging job opportunity, but then I think about it and realize the excitement of the challenge would eventually wear off and that too will become mundane and contemptible. In the light of the shortness of life I find it increasingly difficult to get motivated to struggle for a career that I know I will eventually have to give up. What would be the point besides paying the bills and trying to earn a living. In that light, easy, comfortable, and yes boring seems to be the wisest choice - work to live, not live to work. Of course, I would gladly dive into something that truly resonated with me, but what? Nothing is in sight as yet, although that may change. So perhaps for now, steady the course, eyes open - and come what may.

Silent Prayer

I enter into prayer to see
The god you said was there for me.

I hear my voice but I can't see
Nor can I hear if god answers me.

The silence stings my desperate ears
Prayer has proved my deepest fears.

I'm all alone, no god did speak
In silent prayer, silence is all I meet.

Science

I have recently rekindled my on-again-off-again fascination with science. There is so much to learn, so much already discovered that boggles the mind! The vastness of the cosmos, the complexity of biological life, the wilderness that is modern physics ... one could get lost in the wonder and savagery of it all.