This easter has essentially been a spiritual bust in my home. The typical remembrance of the Christian easter story, private reflection, prayer, and meditation has been entirely lacking. And to tell the truth, I miss it. I am finding that I am increasingly (and at a rate that is a little alarming) becoming more and more secular and shedding more and more of my faith impossed inhibitions. Some I am glad to see go, others I am torn about. To be blunt, I miss faith. I miss the cosmic relationship I thought I had. I miss the connection to reality I thought I had, and the accompanying understanding and purpose. But try as I might, I find I cannot re-enter that spell of faith. If christianity is not the Truth, it certainly can offer some truth. Truth - more and more I can relate with the panged question, "what is truth?" I long for a Truth, and this easter's absence of spiritual relationship only serves to highlight that longing, that emptyness. I'm afraid that I am drifting to far, to fast away from my spiritual root - and broadcasting my new paganism too loadly. This easter I am certainly in agreement with that once proud evangelist turned atheist who said, "I miss Jesus." I can't have the Jesus that I once believed in (at least, not today), but I miss him.