I feel like a dog on a leash. I see the things I want and want to do just at the end of my leash. There they are - school, sports, teachers.....sitting before me. But pull as I might, digging, barking, even waiting patiently - all seem to fail. So I try settling into what is, but what is is so uncertian, so unreliable. Usually just enough to survive, but not enough to thrive. So, moments of contentment mired by harsh realities. No guarantees in life. And how easy it is to accept that when things are good. But when you want to stretch, to reach out for goals and dreams and the like, it is frustrating to find that a leash keeping you from reaching them.

Funny how things go. Last week I was on the top of the world, content,even excited with how things were going. Opportunities were just at the tip of my fingers...sad, sad illusion. Of course, what is more deceiving? The illusion of okay, or the illusion of not okay? Fortunatel for me, I've learned that feelings come and go: there is up and there is down. I still grumble when I'm down, but I also recognize things are going to change again.